Tech Writing Bloopers (humor)

[Tony Rocco <trocco -at- ONDISPLAY -dot- COM>]

> >In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed through
> >stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
> >
> >On Sears hairdryer:
> >Do not use while sleeping.
> >(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
> >
> >On a bag of Fritos:
> >You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
> >(The shoplifter special!)
> >
> >On a bar of Dial soap:
> >Directions: Use like regular soap.
> >(and that would be how?)
> >
> >On some Swann frozen dinners:
> >Serving suggestion: Defrost.
> >(But it's *just* a suggestion!)
> >
> >On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:(printed on bottom of the box) Do not
> >turn upside down.
> >(Too late! You lose!)
> >
> >On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
> >Product will be hot after heating.
> >(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)
> >
> >On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
> >Do not iron clothes on body.
> >(But wouldn't that save more time?)
> >
> >On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
> >Do not drive car or operate machinery.
> >(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
> > just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
> >
> >On Nytol sleep aid:
> >Warning: may cause drowsiness.
> > (One would hope!)
> >
> >On a Korean kitchen knife:
> >Warning keep out of children.
> >(Or pets! What's for dinner?)
> >
> >On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
> > For indoor or outdoor use only.
> > (As opposed to use in outer space?)
> >
> >On a Japanese food processor:
> >Not to be used for the other use.
> >(Now I'm curious.)
> >
> >On Sainsbury's peanuts:
> >Warning: contains nuts.
> > (Really???)
> >
> >On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
> >Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
> >(I'm glad they cleared that up...)
> >
> >On a Swedish chainsaw:
> >Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
> >(What is this, a home castration kit?)
> >
> >On a child's superman costume:
> >Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
> >(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
> >
> >Have a Great Weekend!!
> >>


 From ??? -at- ??? Sun Jan 00 00:00:00 0000=