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Subject:DemonSME From:Cyndy Davis <kivrin -at- ZDNETMAIL -dot- COM> Date:Thu, 20 Aug 1998 15:17:11 -0700
You certainly are in an oppressive situation. In addition to all of the great advice you have already received, I wanted to add and emphasize a couple things.
When you do set the meeting, do it on nuetral ground. Do it somewhere with a DOOR (less yelling for others to hear) and with CHAIRS (nobody flying across the room). Have notes (all that documentation you are doing), give everyone in the meeting a page with your solution, and most importantly - sit down.
Watch your body language, no matter how hard you try some anger will come through. If you remember to keep your hands on the table and an open stance, you will seem professional and agreeable. (Notice I said agreeable, not a doormat =)) And watch your tone. Try to speak lower, slower and quieter than you usually do. This will force the SME to LISTEN. This also has the benefit of making you look planned and organized.
Your solution page should have a list of expectations for you and your SME. Lay out the timeline you need. List deadlines. Make it obvious that you want to get the job done - done right and on time.
When you end your meeting (hopefully you can do this in one meeting, but reconvene if the anger is getting in the way), ask the SME if she sees any problems with the deadlines/schedule. Giving her a chance to give some input after she has been "dressed down," will keep you from being viewed as the nasty.
Although I haven't been in the exact same situation, I dealt with several angry parents (one that was on the Board of Education) about my grading policies when I was a student teacher. These hints made those confrontations sucessful and I came out looking like a professional that had years of experience (instead of the 21 year old fresh out of college that I was).
