Proposal: The Magic 8-ball reply

Subject: Proposal: The Magic 8-ball reply
From: Steve Fouts <stefou -at- ESKIMO -dot- COM>
Date: Wed, 24 Sep 1997 09:14:55 -0700

Hi folks,

I'm a TECHWR-L old timer but I haven't been around much lately.

This is partially in response to Paul Nendick's proposal, and
partially something I have been thinking of for quite some
time.

Paul wrote:

>While I appreciate that this may the only forum where some can go to
>'interact' with others in the Tech Writing profession, I have a lot of
>work to do. Downloading hundreds of posts generated by trivial
>threads really reduces this list's usefulness and relevance.

I subscribe to the list, set the NOMAIL option, and read the list on
the web server or a news reader. Destroys a little of the "real time"
chat, but there is rarely anything to that.

I was reading a book the other day and the author attributed this to
an old proverb: Two of a trade never agree.

Nowhere is this more evident than this trade related listserv. For
example, I am pretty sure that at least four or five of you are already
foaming at the mouth because I implied that technical writing is a
trade.

Back to my topic. There are a whole fistful of topics on this list that
I have come to think of as "Magic 8-ball" topics. This because every
time the topic is raised you get a range of answers from "Yes" to "No"
and everything in between. Sort of like what would happen if you asked
a Magic 8-ball the same question over and over again for an hour.

We generate the virtual equivalent of reams of discussion but in the
end fail to change any opinions noticeably. Generally "full of sound
and fury," etc. (Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 5)

So if you feel you must add your opinion to the discussion of
certification of technical writers, or two spaces after the period
or only one, or degreed vs. school of hard knocks I propose that
you simply acknowledge the fact that your peers have differing
opinions that no amount of pedantry or flawless logic seems to be
able to change by saying:

Magic 8-ball says: <your preferred answer>

For example:

newbie -at- new2 -dot- the -dot- net asked:
> What's the best document processor for me to use. Please feel free to
> reply at length even though I have included no details about my
> platform, work, or anything else relevant.

Magic 8-ball says: Ima Professional Riter 5.0d with Plus Pack! No contest.

That way the next person that writes in can say

Magic 8-ball says: Eazenotta Wordsmith 2

without feeling compelled to call the first writer's lineage or credentials
into question.

writer -at- mail -dot- logboom -dot- com wrote:
> I'm writing a safety manual for the logging industry. Which of the
> following sentences is correct:
> Don't stick your peavy in your foot.
> ^^^^^
> Don't stick your peavey in your foot.
> ^^^^^^

Magic 8-ball says: When in doubt, use the shortest one. Save a letter,
save a page, save a tree.
or

Magic 8-ball says: Don't stick your Peavey(TM) logging tool, or any other
brand of cant hook, in your foot.
or

Magic 8-ball says: Answer fuzzy. Try later.

So easy. Now you try!

If thou speak'st false, Steve Fouts
Upon the next tree shalt thou hang alive, stefou -at- eskimo -dot- com
Till famine cling thee: if thy speech be sooth, stefou -at- safeco -dot- com
I care not if thou dost for me as much. I speak only for
myself.

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