Subject: Re: STYLE:HELP
From: Suzanne Townsend <ac158 -at- CCN -dot- CS -dot- DAL -dot- CA>
Date: Tue, 25 Jul 1995 16:02:02 -0300

On Tue, 25 Jul 1995, John L Patterson wrote:

> Help. Which construction is better? Is the first sentence conditional?

If someone has to figure out whether the sentence is conditional before
following instructions, I'd say it needs rewriting. How about:

1. ALERT: Inspect rawhide chews and toys for visible meat fibers or
strong odors. If either is present, the rawhide product is not enterable.

BTW, "is not enterable" could be replaced with the active voice:

"If either is present, reject the rawhide product."

Suzanne Townsend <ac158 -at- ccn -dot- cs -dot- dal -dot- ca>
"When we get back [from this 2-week trip],
it'll be time to pay the pauper for sure."
-- Roncaism of the Week --

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