HUMOR: Computer Messages

[Cathy Luther <cluther -at- UNM -dot- EDU>]

I know-I know:  I know I'll get a "not-pertiment-to-list-discussion"
messages, but this might be really good for those
Monday-you-have-to-work-before-a-holiday blues, or what-have-you.


Cathy
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Email: cluther -at- unm -dot- edu


---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Fri, 30 Jun 1995 12:40:15 -0600 (MDT)
From: Katze <kluther -at- unm -dot- edu>
To: cathy luther <cluther -at- unm -dot- edu>
Subject: Cool, way Cool!!! (fwd)

>Hey computer geeks,
>My co-worker just sent me these...I think you will find them pretty funny!
>Wendi
>> >>   Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
>> >>   COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
>> >>   Buy a Pentium/90 so you can reboot faster.
>> >>   2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
>> >>   Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
>> >>   Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
>> >>   My software never has bugs.  It just develops random features.
>> >>   C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
>> >>
>> >>   <-------- The information went data way -------->
>> >>   Best file compression around:  "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
>> >>   The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
>> >>!!   BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
>> >>   The name is Baud......, James Baud.
>> >>   BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
>> >>   Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
>> >>   C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
>> >>   Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
>> >>   Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
>> >>   As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
>> >>   Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
>> >>   Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.
>> >>   E Pluribus Modem
>> >>   ... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
>> >>   Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny (HEY!!!)
>> >>   A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
>> >>   An error?  Impossible!  My modem is error correcting.
>> >>   CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted:  Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
>> >>   Does fuzzy logic tickle?
>> >>   A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
>> >>   11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
>> >>   24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?
>> >>   Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
>> >>   Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
>> >>   SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
>> >>   Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
>> >>   Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
>> >>   RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
>> >>   Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
>> >>   All computers wait at the same speed.
>> >>   DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
>> >>   Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue ...
>> >>   Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
>> >>   Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
>> >>   ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
>> >>   Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
>> >>   All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
>> >>   "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
>> >>   DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
>> >>   Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
>> >>   Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
>> >>   Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
>> >>   Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.
>> >>   REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
>> >>   Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_~"
>> >>   Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
>> >>   Read my chips: No new upgrades!
>> >>   2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
>> >>   I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
>> >>   Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
>> >>   Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
>> >>   Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup
>> >>   Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
>> >>   (A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
>> >>   (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?
>> >>   Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
>> >>   Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with
>> >>   inanimate objects.
>> >>   Real programmers don't document.  If it was hard to write, it should be
>> >>   hard to understand.
>>
>__________________________________________
>Wendi M. Dreesen
>NIS-1, MS 466
>Los Alamos National Laboratory
>665-3147, 667-1055
>windex -at- sstcx1 -dot- lanl -dot- gov
>__________________________________________



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Eric A. Lemay

(ealemay -at- hrsun -dot- lan -dot- gov)

(505) 665 3917

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