Humour: Nocilis of Yppolf #2

["Brian J. Dooley" <Brian_Dooley -at- EQUINOX -dot- GEN -dot- NZ>]

Here's episode 2. More relevant, slightly less amusing. Do need to hear if
you wish me to continue these postings (or if you want to be on the list).


1.2  Habeus Corpus

   Nocilis had not progressed very much farther before he came to the town
of Tnemucod,
deep within the heart of Noisufnoc. Here, he was greeted immediately by the
mayor.
"It is good that  you have come to us, oh Nocilis, for we are just now
attempting a
grand rearrangment of things, " said the harried administrator.
   "I approve of all rearrangment," said Nocilis. "It almost invariably adds
a new
chapter to my book."  He flicked an errant particle of grime from beneath a
fingernail,
sending it sailing through the air in the general direction of the town.
"So, which way,
then, shall I proceed to investigate these changes?"
   "Well, first take ISO 9000, which you will find a superb paper-surfaced
road, to
ISO9002, then proceed along ISO9002b. The street names are variously marked
along the
way, so that you will find ISO 9000 also written as CEN/CENELEC EM 29000,
ANSI/ASQC Q 90 and lots of other names. At the end of this street, turn
sharply at Bob's
Petrol Station, and you will be at the end of the trail.
   "This sounds like a very long way to me," said Nocilis, yawning.
   "Certainly it is a long way, but the benefits are very clear. At the
present time,
we have our Engineers writing, our Writers typesetting and designing
graphics, our Line
Managers marketing, our Marketing people developing products and testing,
and our
Graphic Artists managing. We are hoping to find a better arrangment by
progressing
along these roads."
   "Could you not make the obvious changes and spare the effort," said
Nocilis,
wondering if he would at last find himself forced to proceed along the
maze-like
highways of ISO."
   "We could make some changes, it is true," said the mayor. "But who, then,
would
believe us? It is necessary to have all of the forms in order, and a
sufficiency of
them."
  Nocilis looked around at the great flurry of activity. Tnemucod's harried
inhabitants
were bustling about with great stacks of paper, some of it in hand and some
in special
wheelbarrows marked "Controlled Documents". There was a great office in the
center of
the town, from which issued streams of clerks with the traditional
rubberstamp mark
emblazoned on their foreheads. Whenever anyone stopped to do anything, he
would be
immediately surrounded by these clerks, all jostling to record what it was
that was
being done. When one unfortunate citizen accidentally dropped a coin and
stooped to
retrieve it, he was almost suffocated by the onrush.
  "Indeed this is remarkable," said Nocilis, "But I would much rather get to
the end of
the changes at once than navigate these highways and pay all these tolls."
   "Well," said the mayor, somewhat miffed. "You could just walk to Bob's
Petrol
Station, which is right behind us, I suppose."
  Nocilis thanked him, and proceeded directly to the station--which was
exactly twenty
paces away.
  "Hello, Bob," said Nocilis. I see that you are located right at the end of
the route
toward change and improvement. What wisdom can you impart."
  "As the Americans say, I only pump gas," said Bob.
   Nocilis continued along his way, pondering all he had learned in the town
of
Tnemucod.

(Copyright 1993, Brian J. Dooley)



--
***** BRIAN J. DOOLEY ***** 1/45 Aylesford St., Christchurch, NEW ZEALAND
   email: Brian_Dooley -at- equinox -dot- gen -dot- nz   CompuServe: 75146,3212