RE: The 'user' in User Manual

["Lauren" <lt34 -at- csus -dot- edu>]

I would avoid the pronouns and the passive voice.

"The system displays the new user welcome message at the first login."

Lauren 

> -----Original Message-----
> From: techwr-l-bounces+lt34=csus -dot- edu -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com 
> [mailto:techwr-l-bounces+lt34=csus -dot- edu -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On 
> Behalf Of Tara Charter
> Sent: Monday, February 12, 2007 9:26 AM
> To: Techwr-l
> Subject: Re: The 'user' in User Manual
> 
> 4th: "Upon initial login, the system displays the new user 
> welcome message."
> 
> Sarah Bouchier wrote:
> 
> > >In my opinion, using 'you" in instructions  sounds like verbally
> > stabbing
> > >a
> > >finger at the reader. In some contexts, and to some 
> people, that is 
> > >not rude. In others, however, it is.
> >
> > I think we're all agreed that instructions should use the 
> imperative 
> > :) In my experience, however, it's not in the actual instructions 
> > where the need to actually pick 1st, 2nd or 3rd person 
> creeps in, it's 
> > in the descriptive or conditional bits round the edges.  
> For example:
> >
> > 2nd: "The first time you log in, you will see the new user welcome 
> > message."
> > 3rd: "The first time the user logs in, they will see the new user 
> > welcome message."
> > Passive: "Upon initial login, the new user welcome message will be 
> > presented."
> >
> > None of them are +wrong+, but as a user I'd be more 
> comfortable with 
> > the first.
> >
> > -----------------------------------------
> > Sarah Bouchier
> > Technical Author
> >
> > exony
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