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Sarah, as you've gathered by now, your situation is not unusual.
I've found it helpful to stay in touch with the developers directly. I
send quick e-mails every so often asking whether they've made changes
that might affect the doc. I tell them that all they need to do is shoot
me a quick e-mail when they make a change and I'll keep track of what
needs to be done and schedule time to discuss it when it's convenient
for them. That way they don't have to take time to provide details while
they're busy with other things.
As we get closer to a release deadline, I step up the e-mails and list
the open issues I know about. That list sometimes will jog their
memories. And I copy project management on all my requests so they know
I'm asking the questions and not waiting to be spoon-fed. And that
sometimes encourages them to remind the developers to talk with me about
product changes.
My developers are spread out across 3 floors so I can't sit near them
all. We do have a group lunch every Friday. We don't talk work the whole
time, but it helps me stay in touch with them and it's fun.
Some things still fall through the cracks, but this works pretty well
for me.
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