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Seeking counsel - yet another difficult work situation (very long!)
Subject:Seeking counsel - yet another difficult work situation (very long!) From:"Patricia Oshea" <Oshea -dot- Patricia -at- orbital -dot- com> To:"TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com> Date:Thu, 23 Dec 2004 10:01:20 -0700
I don't post often (I'm an introvert) but this seems like a good time to
jump in. This discussion has been very useful to me. People rarely talk
about their struggle with what I call their ability to "put themselves out
there." It has been a problem of varying degrees for me. Although
introverted, I don't consider myself shy. I believe some of us are more
aware of how approachable some people are. Those people who have
well-developed defense behaviors can be fairly intimidating to someone who
is unsure of established boundaries. I have heard the observation before
that introverted people are self-absorbed and do not focus on others so I
am grateful for a chance to object to this misperception. I can't speak for
all introverts but in my case, other people's needs often dominate my
thoughts and responses. Not wanting to offend or intrude can affect how one
approaches others. To me, introversion and extroversion are a response to
the world outside oneself and, consequently, the definition of which is
dependent on various interpretations. As an introvert, I am most
comfortable in familiar and safe surroundings. I sometimes need time to
adjust. This doesn't mean I don't do my job. I have no trouble approaching
people from whom I need information but I also don't make much noise or a
big fuss about what I have done. I've learned that this can be interpreted
by some as a non-aggressive style of working. Maybe, from one of the posts
in this thread, it also appears that some of us don't work hard. One
important, in my opinion, issue that has not come up in this discussion is
the role of the manager in recognizing the value in different work styles
and knowing how to facilitate optimal performance from their employees. I
have had the good fortune to have worked for managers who are very good at
recognizing everyone's contribution to whatever needs to be accomplished.
They are knowledgeable about job related abilities and they are concerned
with helping employees to develop and achieve professional goals. They know
how to create a democratic environment in which everyone has a chance to be
heard. Unfortuneately, it isn't enough for other managers that employees
are capable, steady, and loyal. They want all of there employees to be
aggressive. Imagine the potential for chaos.
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