HUMOR: I Need Help

[Andrew Plato <intrepid_es -at- yahoo -dot- com>]

I think it is time to repost this:

---------------------------

I have a few questions for the list. Sorry if they seem a little dumb. I am a
newbie to this list and I am incapable of using the archives. 

What is that thing that goes at the end of sentences? Not that squiggly thing,
the little little dot thing. Gosh, I have looked in all my help files and
cannot find the name of that anywhere. 

Also, I just started working for a small, worthless company. Tell me all the
software, hardware, office supplies, and lunch items I should buy. I have been
thinking about a ham and Swiss for lunch, but someone said the meatball sub was
an industry standard. Also, please have a lengthy debate about FrameMaker vs.
Word. Personally, I think people who use Word are sub-human scum unworthy of
eating from plates or mating with the opposite sex. But, you know, that is just
my opinion. I want to hear everyone else's. 

Should I get the Pirelli P4000 SuperTouring P205/50VR-16 or the Dunlop SP Sport
for my 1993 Ford Crown Victoria? 

How do you spell Armaggedon? Spectacular? Immobile? Syphilitic Moron? 

Also, my company does have much experience with technical communication. Could
you send me all your style guides, process manuals, and templates? I would
really appreciate the help. Make sure to send them in a UNIX tar file and break
them up into 30K files only. Our Internet provider won't support more than
that. 

How do you install Solaris? I know the part about unwrapping the CD-ROM but I
get lost after that. You can respond to my personal email. Please keep the
instructions brief, I don't have time for any "technical" details. 

Lastly, I wrote a 10,000 page essay on the nature of toejam. Could you please
read it an provide detailed feedback. I really need to get it edited before
next Monday. You can see it on-line (a 25.90 MB PDF file at
http://www.server-full-of-viruses.com

Thanks everyone on the list for your help. I am really looking forward to being
a member of this list. From what I hear, everyone is really helpful. 

Don Jorkfabber 
Senior Technical Pecker 
Industrial Mice Squashing, Inc.


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