RE: Interviews From Heck

Subject: RE: Interviews From Heck
From: Glen Warner <gdwarner -at- ricochet -dot- net>
To: "TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Mon, 3 Jul 2000 12:59:55 -0700

"Humbird, LenX" <lenx -dot- humbird -at- intel -dot- com> wrote:


> I've had bad interview days, but not bad enough for a write-up. But
for the
> newbies out there, my experience has been that you get plenty of
no's in the
> early times. Then the yes's come much more frequently, and often
when you're
> not even on the market.

We've tweaked a few recruiters in this thread ... but sometimes, even
recruiters (and hiring managers) have bad days.

A couple years ago, I found this list of (supposedly) true incidents
from Real Recruiters(tm), and pasted it into a text document and
promptly forgot about it.

Found it again, and here it is.

The moral of all these stories: don't emulate these people!

Also ... there was a link to more of these, but it was broken. Not
even sure where I got these, alas .... :o\

But here we go .....

Actual Interviews

Just in case you thought you did poorly in an interview, read these
35 anecdotes. These are from executives who actually conducted
these interviews.

1. "... said he was so well-qualified that if he didn't get the job,
he would prove the company's management was incompetent."

2. "... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."

3. "... brought her large dog to the interview."

4. "... chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles."

5. "Candidate kept giggling through serious interview."

6. "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music
at the same time."

7. "Balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a
few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."

8. "Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle."

9. " asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel
executive was qualified to judge the candidate."

10. "... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a
hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office."

11. "Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during
the middle of the interview."

12. "Man wore jogging suit to interview for position as financial
vice president."

13. "Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty
by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm."

14. "Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering
specific interview questions."

15. "... wouldn't get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had
to call the police."

16. "When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap
dancing around my office."

17. "... had a little pinball game and challenged me to play with him."

18. "... bounced up and down on my carpet and told me I must be highly
thought of by the company because I was given such a thick carpet."

19. "At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, went
through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left."

20. "... pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of
me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him."

21. "Candidate asked me if I would put on a suit jacket to insure that
the offer I had made was formal."

22. "Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much."

23. "While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out
a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping
longest at the centerfold."

24. "During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the
candidate's brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and
said he had to leave for another interview."

25. "A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his
wife. His side of the conversation went like this: "Which company?
When do I start? What's the salary?"

I said, "I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview
any further." He promptly responded, "I am as long as you'll pay me

"I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer.
It was a scam to get a higher offer."

26. "An applicant came in wearing only one shoe. She explained that
the other shoe was stolen off her foot in the bus."

27. "His briefcase opened when he picked it up and the contents
spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and

28. "He came to the interview with a moped and left it in the
reception area. He didn't want it to get stolen, and stated that he
would require indoor parking for the moped."

29. "He took off his right shoe and sock, removed a medicated foot
powder and dusted it on the foot and in the shoe. While he was putting
back the shoe and sock, he mentioned that he had to use the powder
four times a day, and this was the time."

30. "Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the
unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one."

31. "He whistled when the interviewer was talking."

32. "... asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my
desk. When I said it was myife, he asked if she was home now and
wanted my phone number. I called security."

33. "... she threw-up on my desk, and immediately started asking
questions about the job, like nothing had happened."

34. "Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that
if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to
state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the
police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No
one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk."

35. "... asked if I wanted some cocaine before starting the interview."

> Len
> By the way, Heck is the place you go to when you don't believe in

Hey, thanks! Another one for my collection of humorous quips.


Obligatory .sig:

"An agnostic is simply a gutless atheist."
--an Art Bell listener

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