RE: Interviews From Heck

[Glen Warner <gdwarner -at- ricochet -dot- net>]

"Humbird, LenX" <lenx -dot- humbird -at- intel -dot- com> wrote:

(*snip*)
 
> I've had bad interview days, but not bad enough for a write-up. But 
for the
> newbies out there, my experience has been that you get plenty of 
no's in the
> early times. Then the yes's come much more frequently, and often 
when you're
> not even on the market. 

We've tweaked a few recruiters in this thread ... but sometimes, even 
recruiters (and hiring managers) have bad days.

A couple years ago, I found this list of (supposedly) true incidents 
from Real Recruiters(tm), and pasted it into a text document and 
promptly forgot about it.

Found it again, and here it is.

The moral of all these stories:  don't emulate these people!

Also ... there was a link to more of these, but it was broken.  Not 
even sure where I got these, alas .... :o\

But here we go .....

Actual Interviews

Just in case you thought you did poorly in an interview, read these 
35 anecdotes.  These are from executives who actually conducted 
these interviews.


1. "... said he was so well-qualified that if he didn't get the job, 
he would prove the company's management was incompetent."

2. "... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."

3. "... brought her large dog to the interview."

4. "... chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles."

5. "Candidate kept giggling through serious interview."

6. "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music 
at the same time."

7. "Balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a 
few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."

8. "Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle."

9. " asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel 
executive was qualified to judge the candidate."

10. "... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a 
hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office."

11. "Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during 
the middle of the interview."

12. "Man wore jogging suit to interview for position as financial 
vice president."

13. "Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty 
by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm."

14. "Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering 
specific interview questions."

15. "... wouldn't get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had 
to call the police."

16. "When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap 
dancing around my office." 

17. "... had a little pinball game and challenged me to play with him."

18. "... bounced up and down on my carpet and told me I must be highly 
thought of by the company because I was given such a thick carpet."

19. "At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, went 
through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left."

20. "... pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of 
me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him."

21. "Candidate asked me if I would put on a suit jacket to insure that 
the offer I had made was formal."

22. "Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much."

23. "While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out 
a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping 
longest at the centerfold."

24. "During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the 
candidate's brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and 
said he had to leave for another interview."

25. "A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his 
wife. His side of the conversation went like this: "Which company? 
When do I start? What's the salary?" 

I said, "I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview 
any further." He promptly responded, "I am as long as you'll pay me 
more. 

"I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. 
It was a scam to get a higher offer."

26. "An applicant came in wearing only one shoe. She explained that 
the other shoe was stolen off her foot in the bus."

27. "His briefcase opened when he picked it up and the contents 
spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and 
perfume."

28. "He came to the interview with a moped and left it in the 
reception area. He didn't want it to get stolen, and stated that he 
would require indoor parking for the moped."

29. "He took off his right shoe and sock, removed a medicated foot 
powder and dusted it on the foot and in the shoe. While he was putting 
back the shoe and sock, he mentioned that he had to use the powder 
four times a day, and this was the time."

30. "Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the 
unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one."

31. "He whistled when the interviewer was talking."

32. "... asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my 
desk. When I said it was myife, he asked if she was home now and 
wanted my phone number. I called security."

33. "... she threw-up on my desk, and immediately started asking 
questions about the job, like nothing had happened."

34. "Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that 
if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to 
state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the 
police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No 
one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk."

35. "... asked if I wanted some cocaine before starting the interview."

> Len
> 
> By the way, Heck is the place you go to when you don't believe in 
Gosh. 

Hey, thanks!  Another one for my collection of humorous quips.

--gdw

Obligatory .sig:

"An agnostic is simply a gutless atheist."
--an Art Bell listener