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Subject:Re: Some Help With Re-phrasing From:"Huber, Mike" <mrhuber -at- SOFTWARE -dot- ROCKWELL -dot- COM> Date:Thu, 22 Oct 1998 09:52:51 -0400
> From: Deborah Cooper [mailto:dcooper -at- INSTEPMOBILE -dot- COM]
...
> I'm having a problem with correct wording. I'm trying to convert
> a passive-voice document to active voice. Here's the phrase I'm
> having trouble with:
>
> While the Summary window is displayed, you can double-click
> any entry shown in the Summary window. This action causes
> the system to display a new Job View window for this job.
My suggested version:
To display a Job View window for a job, double-click that job's entry in the
Summary window.
- I assume the reader understands that double-clicking an entry in the
Summary window is only possible when the Summary window is displayed. I'm
also assuming that there is an explanation of how to bring up the Summary
window somewhere on (or very near) the page where this passage appears.
- The repetition of the word "job" bothers me, but not as much as the
"entry" turning into a "job" without explanation.
---
Office:
mike -dot- huber -at- software -dot- rockwell -dot- com
Home:
nax -at- execpc -dot- com
