Re: Doc Department Blueprint

Subject: Re: Doc Department Blueprint
From: Andrew Plato <aplato -at- EASYSTREET -dot- COM>
Date: Mon, 15 Jun 1998 09:27:24 -0700

Couldn't resist a chance to be an assh**e:

Here's my blueprint for a typical tech pubs department:

1 - Ineffectual, worthless slug-of-a-human manager. Primary responsibilities
are to lord over the mundane and restrict resources to make his/her position
seem more important than it is. This person finds extreme joy in deriving
pleasure from watching the inane political and social machinations from his/her
ridiculous policy edicts. "All writers will save their files in the ever
popular RITZPUCK format and place them on a floppy disk and secure the disk in
the company safe. And send a progress report on your status writing progress
reports."

2 - Lazy, blathering, gossip obsessed, clockwatching loser writers. Primary
responsibilities include sipping coffee, talking about how "those people" are
getting their benefits, and comparing paycheck stubs. These writers have
excellent Windows wallpaper changing skills.

1 - Technology obsessive. Primary responsibilities include obsessing over a
particular technology (like SGML) and espousing its greatness over all things in
the universe. This person often works on "technology initiatives" and "research
committees". Rarely completes any real work since he/she is too busy
"researching" the wonderful new technologies that his/her company cannot afford.

1 - Guy who can't speak English. His writing is usually better then the people
with experience.

1 - Aspiring musician who sleeps all day at work. Primary responsibilities
include drooling and complaining about his/her workload.

3 - Spineless, tepid, milquetoast, cringing, mumbling dweebs. Primary
responsibilities include acting really knowledgeable and authoritative -- in
email. These writers are usually in the process of working up the courage to
challenge the supply secretary for more paper clips.

1 - Actual talented person. Primary responsibilities include doing all the real
work while all the other employees attend yet another Review Board Committee
Meeting to draft a resolution on the nature of serif fonts. This man/woman will
leave the company in a few weeks and be replaced by a new hard drive.

1 - The sick person. This man/woman is routinely dying from some horrific tech
writing induced malady. Rarely completes any work because he/she is rarely at
work. Consumes all benefits for the company.

1 - You, because your not like these people, right?

.......................................................
Andrew Plato
Owner/Principal Consultant
Anitian Technology Services
www.anitian.com




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