Friday Humour

[Damien Braniff <Damien_Braniff -at- PAC -dot- CO -dot- UK>]

I don't know about elsewhere but here it's REVIEW time of the year and I
thought the following might raise a smile (or even help!) if you're in that
situation.  It's from the Personnel Journal of many moons ago and defines
the terms used by Personnel - what they really mean.


               EVALUATING PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL TERMINOLOGY

                      (Personnel Journal, July 1981)

Term                                Actual Meaning

Average employee                    Not too bright

Exceptionally well qualified        Made no major blunders yet

Active socially                     Drinks heavily

Family is active socially           Wife drinks too

Character above reproach            Still one step ahead of the law

Zealous attitude                    Opinionated

Quick thinking                      Offers plausible excuses for errors

Careful thinker                     Won?t make a decision

Takes pride in his work             Conceited

Plans for advancement               Buys drinks for the boss

Shows great promise                 Related to managing Director

Forceful                            Argumentative

Aggressive                          Obnoxious

Tactful with superiors              Knows when to keep his mouth shut

Uses logic on hard problems         Finds another person to do the job

A keen analyst                      Thoroughly confused

Not the desk type                   Didn?t go to college

Expresses self well                 Speaks English fairly well

Spends extra hours on job           Miserable home life

Conscientious                       Scared

Meticulous attention to details     A nit picker

Has leadership qualities            Is tall or has a loud voice

Exceptionally good judgement        Extremely lucky

Keen sense of humour                Vast repertoire of dirty jokes

Strong principles                   Stubborn

Career minded                       A back stabber

Coming along fine                   About to be fired

Gets along extremely well with superiors and peers alike    A coward

Of great value to the organisation  Gets to work on time



Damien Braniff
Technical Author
PAC International