Re: What would you do?

[Eric Haddock <eric -at- ENGAGENET -dot- COM>]

>They sent a generic blue portfolio -- OK, not bad.

   Do they specialize in financial documents? It seems like blue, already
the most over-used color there is, is pervasive in that industry.


>In the first sentence they use "which" without a preceeding
>comma to introduce a restrictive clause. Ok, not my style,
>but not the worst mistake, either.

   Eh, let it go.


>The second paragraph is a single sentence that's 46 words long.

   Um...maybe they were really big words, and hyphenated, and stuff....


>Still on the first page, the first sentence of the second
>section says, "<productName> is build around the concept of..."
>instead of "built around".

   I've has build things before. Haven't you? I hear it's becoming a real
fad. <g>


>Page 2 features the sentence, "Contacts are a subset of a prospect."

   But I thought command of lanugages other than English was a plus....


>Page 3 contains a bulleted list of sentence fragments, all terminated
>with periods.

   I hate that. Oh, how I do hate that. It's close on my list of peeves to
my #1, which is using your instead of you're.


>On the bottom of page 4, there's a space between the a and the n in
>the word "can".

   Oh, could happen to anyone--really. Even on profile pieces.


>I just don't have the fortitude to proceed to page 5.

   If I had some extra time I would... <g>


>Are my standards really *that* unreasonably high?

   Not for looking at a profile, show-the-world kind of work. If it was
something like email I wouldn't give the errors very much attention other
than to hope their paper work is better. But for something that exists only
to show off one's skills, this isn't such a grand example.


> Would you point these things out to them

   Yes. I would say the core of their writing was good (if it was) but they
_really_ need a proofreader. I would emphasize this need, rather than blast
them for being sloppy about it themselves. That only serves to make someone
feel bad and there's nothing helpful about doing that.
   I can't proofread my own work to save my life unless a week or so has
passed since I wrote it, but I'm very good at proofing other works.

   Mention it, don't harp on it. Don't be harsh. Emphasize they need a
proofreader. :)


-- Eric

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