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Following (below my .sig) is extracted from Usenet Oracularities Digest
#713, in the Usenet newsgroup rec.humor.oracle. For your enjoyment.
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|\| Patrick Brian O'Connell ! Intermediate Writer,Eicon Technology|
.|| These are my opinions, not ! Corporation / (B) 514-631-9825 x3250|
\| Eicon Technology's. ! Net (B):patricko -at- eicon -dot- com |
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Selected-By: gt2126b -at- prism -dot- gatech -dot- edu (William T. Petrosky)
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
> Oh Thee great, wise, ultimate being of the Internet, also called The
> Oracle, to which I am Your humble servent,
> Regarding The Meaning of Life.
> I haven't thought the above out yet, but I ask you:
> Where can I get the manual, where can I get another (life that is) and
> how much does it cost?
> Your Servant
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
} We are sorry to inform you but replacement manuals for Life(tm) are no
} longer available as Life(tm) has been put on permanent hiatus. Be
} advised that your name has been placed on a list and in the event that
} Life(tm) is resurrected you will be informed of how to order additional
} copies of all documentation. In the mean time, please let me take this
} opportunity to introduce you to some of our other fine products:
} Life(tm) Discontinued
} Death(tm) $49.95
} Our second biggest seller! [Previously a free bonus with every copy
} of Life(tm).] Available in a choice of colors (additional service
} charge required for any color other than factory black).
} Disease(tm) Call for pricing
} Choose from our huge list of currently available diseases. Special
} discounts on all "Choice of Disease + Death" packages.
} ** MANAGER'S SPECIAL ** MANAGER'S SPECIAL ** MANAGER'S SPECIAL **
} Despair(tm) $1.50 (was $32.95)
} Due to an accounting error, we've accidentally ordered too much
} Despair(tm)! Our misfortune is your good luck! Don't miss out on
} this incredible price!
} War(tm) $999.95 (was $153,999.95)
} When was the last time you fought a really good battle? It has been
} a while hasn't it? We've got too much War(tm) in our warehouse and
} with April 15th coming soon, we'd rather sell it to you than pay tax
} on it. Additional discounts for bulk orders. Includes unlimited
} refills on Death(tm).
} Hope(tm) Out of stock
} Sorry, we're currently running low on our supplies of Hope after the
} Holiday season. Hope(tm) should be available again in the early
} Spring.
} Happiness(tm) If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
