Fwd: Taxonomy of Operating Systems (humour)

[Gwen Gall <ggall -at- CA -dot- ORACLE -dot- COM>]

At the risk of being flamed by those who think it's not appropriate to the
list, or creating a flame war between operating system afficianados, I offer
this humour piece to the group.

Delete now, or prepare to laugh.

Gwen (ggall -at- ca -dot- oracle -dot- com)


---- Included Message ----

Received: 12-05-94 18:39                         Sent: 12-05-94 18:38
From: jrawling.CA
To: md
Subject: Fwd: Taxonomy of Operating Systems

Regards,

Jim Rawlings

Director,Research and Business Development      MAILID: JRAWLING.CA
Oracle Corporation Canada,                      PHONE:  (819)772-0595
975 St. Joseph Blvd., Suite 228,                FAX:    (819)772-2830
Hull, Quebec, J8Z 1W8



---- Included Message ----

Received: 12-05-94 17:45                         Sent: 12-05-94 11:55
From: OO4US1:ADCRUZ.US.ORACLE.COM
To: mmcgover jrawling wwells
Subject: Fwd: Taxonomy of Operating Systems

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Ashley D'Cruz                            |
Senior Consultant                        | " A Lawyer with a briefcase
Industry Solutions, Oracle Corporation   |   can steal more than
E-mail : adcruz -at- oracle -dot- com               |   a hundred men with guns "
Ph     : 404.551.6273                    |
Fax    : 404.396.0289                    | "My thoughts .. My Opinions"
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---- Included Message ----

Received: 12-05-94 13:50                         Sent: 12-05-94 09:18
From: OO4US1:JHAVERTY.US.ORACLE.COM
To: netdiv fun wwwusers
Subject: Taxonomy of Operating Systems
Cc: jhaverty

...found on the net...

If operating systems were airlines.....

DOS Air:
All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it
until it gets in the air, hop on, jump off when it hits the ground again.
Then they grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop on, et
cetera.

Mac Airways:
The cashiers, flight attendants and pilots all look the same, feel the
same and act the same. When asked questions about the flight, they reply
that you don't want to know, don't need to know and would you please
return to your seat and watch the movie.

Windows Airlines:
The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants all very attractive,
the pilots very capable. The fleet of Learjets the carrier operates is
immense. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing above the clouds, and
at 20,000 feet it explodes without warning.

OS/2 Skyways:
The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective passengers
milling about. The announcer says that their flight has just departed,
wishes them a good flight, though there are no planes on the runway.
Airline personnel walk around, apologizing profusely to customers in
hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets
outside the terminal on the field. They tell each passenger how good the
real flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than
Windows Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little longer for the
technicians to finish the flight systems. Maybe until mid-1995. Maybe
longer.

Fly Windows NT:
All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing the
chairs in the outline of a plane. They all sit down, flap their arms and
make jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying.

Unix Express:
All passenger bring a piece of the airplane and a box of tools with them
to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what
kind of plane they want to build and how to put it together. Eventually,
the passengers split into groups and build several different aircraft, but
give them all the same name. Some passengers actually reach their destina-
tions. All passengers believe they got there.

Wings of OS/400:
The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably the best and safest planes
that ever flew, and painted "747" on their tails to make them look as if
they are fast. The flight attendants, of course, attend to your every
need, though the drinks cost $15 a pop. Stupid questions cost $230 per
hour, unless you have SupportLine, which requires a first class ticket and
membership in the frequent flyer club. Then they cost $500, but your
accounting department can call it overhead.

MVS Air Lines:
The passengers all gather in the hangar, watching hundreds of technicians
check the flight systems on this immense, luxury aircraft. This plane has
at least 10 engines and seats over 1,000 passengers; bigger models in the
fleet can have more engines than anyone can count and fly even more
passengers than there are on Earth. It is claimed to cost less per
passenger mile to operate these humungous planes than any other aircraft
ever built, unless you personally have to pay for the ticket. All the
passengers scramble aboard, as do the 200 technicians needed to keep it
from crashing. The pilot takes his place up in the glass cockpit. He guns
the engines, only to realize that the plane is too big to get through the
hangar doors. -