Providing/Handling feedback gracefully (was Re: Pulling my hair out)

[Kelly Hoffman <kelly -at- NASHUA -dot- HP -dot- COM>]

Karla Kitalong <kitalong -at- MTU -dot- EDU> writes:

 > I told them that, if asked, I would give my opinion on their memos,
 > reports, and proposals, [...]
 > but I would not impose my will on them unless I was ultimately
 > accountable for the content of the document.

I use a similar approach.  When someone asks me to "take a quick look
at" something they've written (and it's *not* a document I'm
responsible for), I always answer with some variation of "ok, but
understand that I'm likely to return this covered with green ink, are
you *sure* you want me to do this?"  When I return the copy, I always
indicate that I won't be offended if they choose to ignore my
comments.

I do make an effort to phrase any suggestions as diplomatically as is
feasible (especially if the writer hasn't experienced my editing in
the past ;-).  For comments on substance, I usually include some
explanation and offer my changes as an alternative that the writer can
use or ignore.  For example, I might indicate, "the original is ok,
but if you change it to *this*, the message is much stronger -- what's
your intent?"

Documents that are my responsibility are another matter.  I make it
clear that once a document is turned over to me, I'll welcome
comments, suggestions, and criticism -- but it's *my* job to decide
what changes get made.

However, I make a concerted effort to respond to *every* comment from
doc reviewers.  Usually, I give their copy back to them, indicating
where I've made the suggested changes and giving a brief explanation
when I don't implement their suggestions -- e.g., "that's a good idea,
but I don't have time to implement it for this release" or "I prefer
the original way because..." or whatever.  Again, I'm tactful whenever
possible -- the last thing I want is to discourage doc reviews!

Sometimes, I even get to respond with "If I make the change you
suggest, the document will be wrong.  You can verify this yourself by
doing the following..."  I don't often catch the engineers this way,
but it's sure fun when I do. ;-)

Once in a while, an engineer questions my grammar or punctuation.  In
this case (assuming I'm right :-), I've found that the best defense is
a good offense.  "I can explain in *excruciating* detail exactly why
there's no comma in that sentence.  Are you *certain* you want to
continue this argument, or are you going to trust my professional
judgement?"  That usually stops 'em cold.  (Not always, though, in
which case I really do explain it in excruciating detail. ;-)

Over the years, I've heard a *lot* of engineers griping about tech
writers who ignore comments or who change the original text such that
it's inaccurate.  The disgust and disdain in the engineers' voices is
quite tangible, and it usually boils down to "why did I waste my time
on this person?"

I've promised myself that I will *never* be the target of such
comments.

kkh
--
Kelly K. Hoffman                             kelly -at- nashua -dot- hp -dot- com
Learning Products Engineer
Hewlett-Packard, Network Test Division       "Reading the manual is
One Tara Blvd., Nashua, NH 03062                admitting defeat."