Dealing with Project Managers

[CLoris <HARRIS -dot- CLORIS -at- IC1D -dot- HARRIS -dot- COM>]

As tech writers we are constantly dealing with project managers to allocate the
time and resources we need to do our job properly.  On occasion we meet PMs who
give us what we need and occasion we meet the ones who don't give a hoot about
documentation (but since it's a CDRL item they are at our mercy).  This little
list will help you identify you particular project manager and his personality
traits.

       Project Managers
       ------- --------

If you get in my way, I'll kill you!
       - ideal project manager

If you get in my way, you'll kill me!
       - somewhat less than ideal project manager

If I get in my way, I'll kill you!
       - somewhat misguided project manager

If I get in your way, I'll kill you!
       - A tough m.f. project manager
         (eats glass, live cats,etc.)

If get kill in will way I you.
       - dyslexic, functionally illiterate project manager

I am the way! Kill me if you can!
       - messianic project manager

Get away, I'll kill us all!
       - suicidal project manager

If you kill me, I'll get in your way!
       - thoughtful but ineffective project manager

If I kill you, I'll get in your way!
       - project manager who has trouble dealing with the obvious

If a you getta ina my way, I gonna breaka your arm.
       - project manager from New York

I am quite confident that there is nothing in the way,
 so no one will get killed.
       - project manager who is about to get into big trouble

If you kill me, so what?  If you get in my way, who cares?
       - weak, uninspired, lackluster project manager

Kill me, it's the only way.
       - every project manager to date.