Re: Re: Subtly bad sentence construction

[Nancy Allison <maker -at- verizon -dot- net>]

    Hi, Debra. Thank you! That is very elegant.

    --Nancy
   On 05/29/15, Debra Kahn<kahndebra -at- gmail -dot- com> wrote:

   I'm with you, Nancy. (Lots and lots of sympathy!)
   I am knee deep QMS procedures (following the ISO standard), and cringe
   at all of the passive voice. Some of it I just can't get around
   (particularly since the quality engineering manager thinks of herself
   as a professional editor).
   The mismatched halves of this sentence could be salvaged (and the
   passive voice retained) with something like: The velocity rate cannot
   be updated by changing the ratio for the transducer. If need be, you
   could add "while the test result is in view mode" at the end. At least
   in this rewrite, the single remaining gerund becomes the object of a
   preposition.
   Hope this helps,
   Deb K
   Debra Kahn, MA, PMP, CA-AM
   [1]debra -at- dk-consulting -dot- co or [2]kahndebra -at- gmail -dot- com
   Business: 970-541-0888
   [3]http://dk-consulting.co
   Twitter: @dkconsultco

References

   1. mailto:debra -at- dk-consulting -dot- co
   2. mailto:kahndebra -at- gmail -dot- com
   3. http://dk-consulting.co/
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