Re: Need some opinions on phrasing

[Chris Morton <salt -dot- morton -at- gmail -dot- com>]

Yeah!

On Tue, Jan 27, 2009 at 10:12 AM, Keith Hood <klhra -at- yahoo -dot- com> wrote:

> Rather than having that much verbiage, I'd put it in a matrix, with the
> qualifying factors becoming column headers.
>
>
> --- On Tue, 1/27/09, Sharon Burton <sharon -at- anthrobytes -dot- com> wrote:
>
> From: Sharon Burton <sharon -at- anthrobytes -dot- com>
> Subject: Re: Need some opinions on phrasing
> To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
> Date: Tuesday, January 27, 2009, 12:50 PM
>
>
> -----Inline Attachment Follows-----
>
> How about:
>
> If your server is an AIX server using Native MPIO, where AIX is a minimum
> of
> Version 5.3 with Technology Level 6 (TL6), then select IBM AIX Native
> MPIO TL6+. If that is not your server, then select IBM AIX Native MPIO
> Legacy.
>
> I think chunking this into If this, then that, else as 2 sentences
> makes it clearer.
>
> --
> sharon
>  From web
>
>
> Quoting Deborah Slutzky <Deborah -dot- Slutzky -at- datacore -dot- com>:
>
> > Hi All,
> >
> >
> >
> > I have two different statements below that mean the same thing. I prefer
> > statement #1 because I do not like the use of "or higher" twice in the
> > phrase, as shown in #2. Someone else here prefers the use of the words
> > "or higher" over "a minimum of."
> >
> > I guess it's minor, but is there a preferred way to phrase this? If not,
> > can I hear some opinions on which sentence sounds better?
> >
> >
> >
> > 1.    For AIX servers using Native MPIO, where AIX is a minimum of
> > Version 5.3 with Technology Level 6 (TL6), select IBM AIX Native MPIO
> > TL6+; otherwise, select IBM AIX Native MPIO Legacy.
> >
> >
> >
> > 2.    For AIX servers using Native MPIO, where AIX is Version 5.3 or
> > higher with Technology Level 6 (TL6) or higher, select IBM AIX Native
> > MPIO TL6+; otherwise, select IBM AIX Native MPIO Legacy.
> >
> >
> >
> > BTW, I hope I'm clear, if a user has AIX V5.4 with TL2, he would select
> > IBM AIX Native MPIO TL6+. Striving for clarity, I removed what was there
> > previously which was: "...where AIX is Version 5.3 with Technology Level
> > 6 (TL6) or higher, select select IBM AIX Native MPIO TL6+; otherwise,
> > select IBM AIX Native MPIO Legacy." I thought the user might think that
> > version 5.3 was a requirement, but that the technology level had to be a
> > minimum of 6, which is incorrect.
> >
> > Thank you!
> >
> > Deb Slutzky
> > DataCore Software
> > Sr. Technical Writer
> > 954/377-6028
> > Deborah -dot- Slutzky -at- datacore -dot- com <mailto:Deborah -dot- Slutzky -at- datacore -dot- com>
>
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