RE: Coworker who won't take no...

Subject: RE: Coworker who won't take no...
From: "Bonnie Granat" <bgranat -at- granatedit -dot- com>
To: <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com>
Date: Thu, 11 Sep 2008 16:40:25 -0400

Patricia,

What I am going to say is just a fact of life: Be careful. His behavior is
spooky enough for me to completely understand why you avoided doing this.
Keep your eyes open, and if a single untoward thing happens, go immediately
to HR, not your manager. Please. You have already had warning signals from
him that something's not quite right. I would just be very, very careful. I
am not saying this to frighten you or bring on unnecessary drama. It's just
a fact of life. If you don't know him well, you don't know him at all.
Something is clearly wrong, and you simply must watch your back. It's
happened before. You have seen red flags. Keep that in mind and act
accordingly. I beg you. You may feel relieved, but do not let down your
guard. You have no idea -- and I mean no idea -- what goes on in his mind.

For those here who may think I am going over the top, you're free to think
it, but please don't harrangue me privately. I consider it my duty to remind
her that whenever you thwart the wishes of someone like that, you may be
opening up a bigger problem. Just be super careful.


Bonnie Granat
http://www.GranatEdit.com




> -----Original Message-----
> From:
> techwr-l-bounces+bgranat=granatedit -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
> [mailto:techwr-l-bounces+bgranat=granatedit -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l
> .com] On Behalf Of Blount, Patricia A
> Sent: Thursday, September 11, 2008 9:07 AM
> To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
> Subject: RE: Coworker who won't take no...
>
> Good morning, all...
>
> Some weeks back, I'd reached out to the List for help in
> dealing with a socially inept developer who is the subject
> matter expert on one of my writing projects. This is an
> individual who kept pressing me to bring my sons to his
> favorite hang-out, a local role-playing game store, pressing
> me to the point where I began questioning (and worrying
> about) his motive.
>
> A few of you have asked me off-list for an update. At long
> last, I FINALLY mustered enough courage to tell him I've
> heard enough. It started on Monday...
>
> My oldest son had suffered a concussion during a hockey game
> Sunday, so I missed a meeting on Monday. The next day, he
> came by to find out what happened and used the violence so
> prevalent in that sport to press the case yet again for the
> store, citing its civilized and gentle environment.
>
> Picture it...
>
> As the words left his mouth, I frowned. Slowly stood up (I'm
> taller than he is) with my hands in a STOP gesture. Cut him
> off with carefully chosen words: "<Name>, that subject is
> closed. I can't make this any clearer. My sons have no
> interest in it. I have no interest in it. I'm not discussing
> it again. Now, unless you have any project work to discuss,
> you'll have to excuse me."
>
> He put his head down, hurried away. I'm not sure, but I think
> I saw a tremble in his lower lip.
>
> I'm a mean old lady who most likely doomed herself to an
> eternity in a game store for making this kid cower, but d -at- mn!
> I feel liberated!
>
> The guide I wrote goes to him for review on Monday and I'm no
> longer worried about it. If he can't or won't do his job,
> that's not my problem.
>
> Thank you all for your words of wisdom and caution. This
> assertiveness stuff is hard for me. I worry too much about
> hurting people's feelings but finally realized that's also
> not my problem.
>
> Patty B.
>
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RE: Coworker who won't take no...: From: Blount, Patricia A

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