Re: Grammar Q

[Janice Gelb <Janice -dot- Gelb -at- Sun -dot- COM>]

Lauren wrote:
>> From: louise -dot- r -dot- stevanovic -at- transport -dot- qld -dot- gov -dot- au
> 
>> I'd be interested to hear how those of you who never 
 >> use 'you' would reword  sentences that provide options,
 >> reminders or information rather than imperatives,
 >> such as the following:
> 
>> You will be prompted to update the document history 
>> whenever you save the document as a new version.
> 
> "There is a prompt to update the document history with 
 > each save as a new version."
> 
> "There is a prompt..." can be replaced with "Software X prompts..."
> 
>> The IMD toolbar is displayed in the bottom left of 
>> the screen. You can move it anywhere on the screen.
> 
> "The IMD toolbar is displayed in the bottom left of the 
 > screen and it can be moved anywhere on the screen."
> 
> Or "...and is movable anywhere..." for a slightly awkward 
 > avoidance of "can be," which may seem passive.
> 

I know that you are adamantly opposed to the use of
"you" but I still find it hard to believe that you
consider these rewrites clearer and easier for the
reader to comprehend than the original sentences.

To each his or her own, I guess... Our styles are
so different that it's probably a very good thing
that we don't work at the same company as writer/
editor!

-- Janice

*************************************
Janice Gelb      janice -dot- gelb -at- sun -dot- com

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