Re: TECHWR-L Digest, Vol 21, Issue 17

[Eddie Hollon <eddiehollon -at- yahoo -dot- com>]

Sometimes, it's easier for me to revise these types of
sentences if I think of them as conditional equations.

#1 Original: When a loop is running (A), 
once the first loop is completed (B), 
the lines in the loop are not editable anymore (C).

Meaning: If A and B, then C.

Revised: If a loop is running and the first loop has
completed, you can no longer edit lines in the loop.

Note: I agree with Arroxanne's comment. If possible to
use a word other than "loop" in one of those
instances, then I would definitely do so. That would
make the revision you suggested a bit nicer to read:
e.g, "When running a sequence, you cannot edit lines
after the first loop is complete."

#2
Original: For submitted sequences (A), 
all lines are editable (B).

Meaning: If A, then B.

Revision: For submitted sequences, you can edit all
lines.

Note: As A is a condition for B, I'd want to see A
first. Also, I'd prefer to avoid passive voice in both
of these sentences, but it may not be necessary to
clarify them that much for your audience or situation.


Eddie
____________________

Without any further context, how would you revise the
following?

 

When a loop is running, once the first loop is
completed, the lines in
 the
loop are not editable anymore." My revision: "When a
loop is running,
 you
cannot edit the lines in the loop after the first loop
is completed." 

 

Or revise this sentence: "For submitted sequences, all
lines are
 editable."
My revision: "You can edit all lines for submitted
sequences."

 

Your thoughts?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Create HTML or Microsoft Word content and convert to Help file formats or 
printed documentation. Features include support for Windows Vista & 2007 
Microsoft Office, team authoring, plus more.
http://www.DocToHelp.com/TechwrlList

True single source, conditional content, PDF export, modular help.
Help & Manual is the most powerful authoring tool for technical
documentation. Boost your productivity! http://www.helpandmanual.com

---
You are currently subscribed to TECHWR-L as archive -at- web -dot- techwr-l -dot- com -dot- 

To unsubscribe send a blank email to 
techwr-l-unsubscribe -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
or visit http://lists.techwr-l.com/mailman/options/techwr-l/archive%40web.techwr-l.com


To subscribe, send a blank email to techwr-l-join -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com

Send administrative questions to admin -at- techwr-l -dot- com -dot-  Visit
http://www.techwr-l.com/ for more resources and info.