How would you revise?

Subject: How would you revise?
From: "Ben" <baj357 -at- gmail -dot- com>
To: "'TECHWR-L'" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com>
Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2007 12:46:03 -0700

Without any further context, how would you revise the following?



When a loop is running, once the first loop is completed, the lines in the
loop are not editable anymore." My revision: "When a loop is running, you
cannot edit the lines in the loop after the first loop is completed."



Or revise this sentence: "For submitted sequences, all lines are editable."
My revision: "You can edit all lines for submitted sequences."



Your thoughts?

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