RE: Problem Co-worker

Subject: RE: Problem Co-worker
From: "HSC Italian" <twins398 -at- hotmail -dot- com>
To: abby -dot- initio -at- gmail -dot- com, techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Date: Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:17:33 -0500

Hello Abby,

It is awesome that you have been documenting everything (I do the same thing), as that can be used as a tool, if needed, to present specifics if requested.

In my experience addressing similar situations, I have learned that managers typically are willing to hear your piece (stick to the facts and share how it impacts the work environment ? not bashing the offender in anyway), but they also want you to provide a solution or multiple solutions. If you meet with the project manager I would encourage you to come to the table with multiple solutions.

Aside from meeting with the project manager, here are ways that I have learned to deal with obnoxious co-workers:

- answer her question, then resume to what you were doing. For example, if the obnoxious person says "Abby, did you change my file?" answer the question, then continue doing what you were doing and do not engage in further conversation with her, unless, she asks another question, otherwise, ignore her. If she gets ticked off, when you see an opportunity to speak say, ?I answered your question, I don?t believe what you said after that required an answer.?

- email is another good tool. After each encounter you have with this person, follow up with an email. For example, if she accuses you of something, send her an email, cc the project manager, and recite what happened ?In case you did not hear my answer to your XYZ question, no I did not change your file. Thank you. Abby?

- continue documenting each incident. When I?ve been in your shoes and became weary of documenting everything I?ve kept a 3-ring binder of each email sent.

Another thing that can be effective is if your other co-workers know you are meeting with the project manager find out if you can mention them. It never hurts to be able to tell a manager the facts and solutions, sometimes it?s powerful to be able to say ?All the other writers/fifty percent of all the writers feel the same way.

Also, check out the company Code of Conduct manual. Depending on the verbiage used, this could fall under harassment.

I wish you much success in addressing a very legitimate issue.

Heidi



From: "abby initio" <abby -dot- initio -at- gmail -dot- com>
To: TECHWR-L <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com>
Subject: Problem Co-worker
Date: Thu, 26 Apr 2007 18:24:22 -0500

Hi,

I'm a longtime member of the list but, since I'm occasionally a contractor,
I'd rather not use my professional address.

That said, I'm having trouble with a co-worker who is a low-grade bully. She
easily accuses others of changing her files (we have no version control).
She doesn't speak to you quietly, but shouts from her cube, "So and so, did
you change my file?" or "Are you in the foofile?" or just a general
accusation to the whole team.

She raises her voice, uses a lecturing tone, and quickly escalates to
confrontation. It's always a conversation that she dominates. It's hard to
get a word in edgewise without similarly raising your voice and
interrupting. When you do, she accuses you of causing the problem. Or, you
stand there realizing that everyone from the very quiet teams nearby, some
of who work closely with the IT manager, can hear you. Having the good sense
to know this isn't wise, you shut up. Meanwhile, not a word is said to the
person who was shouting in the first place.

I could go on, but her behavior isn't so much the point. Rather, I'm
anticipating the likelihood of a discussion with my project manager and I'm
wondering how to handle it. My own thoughts are:

1. I want to avoid dissing the co-worker. It's true that it's not just a
problem between the two of us. Everyone on the team has spoken briefly about
it. Fortunately, we tend to be professional and have avoided gossiping or
ganging up about her while she's not around. Still, it seems to me best to
avoid hauling out a laundry list of grievances. I have documented
everything, but that was for my own sanity.

2. OTOH, how do I come at this as a problem-solver, without clearly
delineating the problem -- which is mostly just personality. In other words,
if she's "just this way" then it seems hard to see how any of us are going
to be able to get our project manager to sit down with her and ask her to
stop raising her voice and/or stop accusing others of changing her files.
We're all doing what we can do, from what I've observed, which mostly means
we keep our mouths shut, walk on eggshells when she's cranky, etc.

3. My own instinct would be to have a calm, professional conversation with
her directly, using all the listening techniques, but also setting firm
boundaries such as waiting patiently when she interrupts, and then insisting
on completing my thought. But this seems unlikely. She's just not the kind
of person who will do this. She will yak on and on, wearing you down because
you're always interrupting to try to get a word in to the point that it's
just not worth it anymore. And she just doesn't come off as someone with
whom you can talk.

Anyway, enough rambling from me. Thoughts?

Abby
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Create HTML or Microsoft Word content and convert to Help file formats or
printed documentation. Features include support for Windows Vista & 2007
Microsoft Office, team authoring, plus more.
http://www.DocToHelp.com/TechwrlList

Now shipping: Help &amp; Manual 4 with RoboHelp(r) import! New editor,
full Unicode support. Create help files, web-based help and PDF in up
to 106 languages with Help &amp; Manual: http://www.helpandmanual.com

---
You are currently subscribed to TECHWR-L as twins398 -at- hotmail -dot- com -dot-
To unsubscribe send a blank email to
techwr-l-unsubscribe -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
or visit http://lists.techwr-l.com/mailman/options/techwr-l/twins398%40hotmail.com


To subscribe, send a blank email to techwr-l-join -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com

Send administrative questions to admin -at- techwr-l -dot- com -dot- Visit
http://www.techwr-l.com/ for more resources and info.


_________________________________________________________________
Exercise your brain! Try Flexicon. http://games.msn.com/en/flexicon/default.htm?icid=flexicon_hmemailtaglineapril07

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Create HTML or Microsoft Word content and convert to Help file formats or
printed documentation. Features include support for Windows Vista & 2007
Microsoft Office, team authoring, plus more.
http://www.DocToHelp.com/TechwrlList

Now shipping: Help &amp; Manual 4 with RoboHelp(r) import! New editor,
full Unicode support. Create help files, web-based help and PDF in up
to 106 languages with Help &amp; Manual: http://www.helpandmanual.com

---
You are currently subscribed to TECHWR-L as archive -at- web -dot- techwr-l -dot- com -dot-

To unsubscribe send a blank email to
techwr-l-unsubscribe -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
or visit http://lists.techwr-l.com/mailman/options/techwr-l/archive%40web.techwr-l.com


To subscribe, send a blank email to techwr-l-join -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com

Send administrative questions to admin -at- techwr-l -dot- com -dot- Visit
http://www.techwr-l.com/ for more resources and info.


Follow-Ups:

References:
Problem Co-worker: From: abby initio

Previous by Author: RE: Information Engineers
Next by Author: Re: A semi-hard landing....
Previous by Thread: Re: Problem Co-worker
Next by Thread: Re: Problem Co-worker


What this post helpful? Share it with friends and colleagues:


Sponsored Ads