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Wanda Phillips wonders: <<I know that I, as a technical writer, have
often encountered control issues... As an employee, I find myself
constantly struggling over issues of control... I'm looking for
insights... I'm engaged in an on-going battle with the forces of evil,
oh, sorry, no I mean with the concerns and attitudes of those I work
with (both within the tech pubs team and without). I know it can't just
be that I've landed in an evil empire, because I haven't. I think that
some of it resides with me, and so I'm looking for strategies for
enabling myself to identify the battles to choose and those to, as
gracefully as possible, step away from... So, how do you deal with the
control issues that come up where you work?>>
When I was younger, I did a lot of aikido, which is different from many
martial arts in that it emphasizes the avoidance of direct
confrontation: rather than meeting force with force, you use the
opponent's strengths against them. (Similar to judo, but more effective
in my limited experience.) More interesting still, when you do kata
(practice specific exercises), you work with your partner so that each
of you "does and is done unto" so that you understand the partner's
experience of the kata too.
Without getting all new-agey on you, I'll note that the same approach
usually works quite well in human relations. As soon as you turn
something into a struggle for control (your words... and what do they
tell you about how you're thinking?), you're meeting force with force.
For that matter, you're assuming it's all about control, and that
biases your thinking. It's not. You work with these people, and as a
result, need to rewire yourself to think about ways to cooperate and
achieve consensus. The ideal solution meets as many of each person's
needs as possible without rejecting anyone else's needs outright.
This isn't just theory. I've worked for nearly 20 years as an editor in
environments where I have little or no authority to force an author to
accept my edits. I've succeeded by turning an inherently
confrontational process ('your writing sucks, I'm better at it, do what
I say") into an opportunity to work together to help the author look
good in print. Why not try the same thing at your place? It takes a bit
of practice to make this attitude your first response, but once it
becomes habit, you find work much less stressful.
<<How do you determine which issues to fight for and which to step away
from.>>
As you may have noticed, I'm not exactly shy about stating my opinion.
I've always expressed my opinion persuasively, based on such facts as I
could evince to do so, and let my argument speak for itself. If I
couldn't persuade someone that I was right, I tried to persuade them
that my points were at least worth addressing (aim for consensus, not
victory). And when I couldn't even do that, I learned to walk away from
the "battle" on good terms with the other person.
I recently fired a client because I wasn't willing to do the kind of
work they wanted me to do. If I can't do it right, I don't want it on
my resume. This is always an option at work too.
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