Re: Fun Interview Stories

[Bruce Byfield <bbyfield -at- axionet -dot- com>]

Over the last eight years, I've contracted or been employed by thirty 
companies. That means that I've probably interviewed at over a hundred. 
So, I probably have the dubious distinction of having more interview 
experience than most people on the list.  This thread has reminded me of 
some of the good and the bad ones:

The Bad

- I'm in a suit. It's a hot, humid day, and I'm counting the minutes 
until I can get the tie off and into a pair of shorts. The interviewer 
shuffles in wearing sandals so old that they're turned black. He's got 
on a ripped T-shirt and ragged cutoffs, and part of his last meal is 
still in his beard. He leans back in his chair, and puts his feet up on 
the desk. I'm less than a yard away, and his feet are literally caked 
with dirt. I can see his toe nails, and they are long and filthy. I can 
also see and smell something on his shoes that wouldn't get past the 
spam filters if I gave its proper name.

- I follow the interviewer up a narrow staircase to the office. We pass 
through what I can only describe as a cubicle gulag, with partitions 
taller than the cubicles are wide, and about  a meter of space down the 
main aisle. We enter the meeting room, and, before we sit down, the 
interviewer immediately asks to see my portfolio. He stands as though 
getting too close to the portfolio might endanger his health, and starts 
flipping pages over with a sneer on his face. I try to start some 
conversation about the contents, but he cuts off each remark with an 
abrupt reply, and the little he does say shows that he has a very 
half-baked idea of layout.  After about five minutes, I mutter that I 
have to leave, snatch my portfolio, and walk out after the briefest of 
courtesies. As soon as I'm around the corner, I phone the recruiter who 
sent me, and tell her tha there is now way that I will work for this 
person. She tells me that he just phoned and wants me in for another 
interviewer, so I guess I passed some sort of sophomoric test, but, 
needless to say, I don't feel flattered.

- I arrive at the interview, only to discover that I'll be talking to 
three people separately. Not only does each one ask questions that the 
other one asked, but each interview is over 90 minutes long. By the last 
one, I can barely talk above a whisper - then I have to go teach for 
four hours in the evening. I have to dismiss the class early because 
I've lost my voice. I later learn that I didn't get the job. just as 
well, since an arch-enemy works there, but I'm steamed just the same.

- The interviewer has no idea what to say or how to say it.  I try to be 
patient, but her nervousness is starting to make me nervous, too. As 
tactfully as possible, I start making suggestions about what she should 
ask next, then answering my own questions. I end up explaining what 
should happen next. Later, I hear that she has used my suggestions while 
interviewing other candidates.


The Good

- As I sit down in the interviewer's office, I notice a playground for 
cockatiels. After we shake hands, I ask the interviewer if he has birds. 
He does, and so do I. We spend the next half hour exchanging cute bird 
stories, then realize that we haven't said a thing about the job. We 
exchange a few sentences, and I walk out hired.

- While doing an interview for a journalistic piece, I hear that a 
company is hiring on the other side of North America from me. The person 
I'm interviewing promises to pass along my resume. He does, and I talk 
with the company over the phone a few days later for twenty minutes. I 
hang up with my largest contract ever.

- A company calls me for an interview. I've never heard of the company, 
and haven't applied to it, but I agree to come in.  It gradually leaks 
out in the interview that the company owners are starting another 
company to which I did reply. After ten minutes, the interviewer notes 
that we seem to get along, and that it must be "God's will" that we met. 
Abruptly, I find myself hired.

--
Bruce Byfield bbyfield -at- axionet -dot- com 604.421.7177
http://members.axion.net/~bbyfield

"Comes a heat wave, you can go down to the shore,
Comes a summon, you can hide behind the door,
Comes love, nothing can be done."
-Lew Brown, Sammy Stept, and Charles Tobias