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I've never posted on this list before, but I've been lurking here for
about a year now. I spent weeks reading the archives when I joined; now I
just go to the web site to read the posts when I have time. I have no
problem with too many posts, too much chit-chat, or threads that don't
interest me. I just don't read those.
Overall, I have found this list to be very interesting and helpful in
numerous ways. I don't come here for solutions to specific problems; I
check in mostly to read the debates, and I enjoy people/posts that are
humorous and don't take things too terribly seriously. I have enough
seriousness in my days already. :-) I scan threads for any that Andrew
Plato has started or chosen to respond to, because I have found that these
are the most likely to prove thought-provoking, interesting, and/or
entertaining (to me), and that's what I come here for. I'm sure others
have other reasons for being here, and no list can be all things to all
people, of course, but apparently a lot of people must be getting
*something* they find valuable to them out of being here, or you wouldn't
have ~10,000 members.
So, my suggestion Eric, is that you might consider another way of looking
at the situation, and basically just let yourself off the hook regarding
managing or policing the "tone" of the list, and issues like civility and
rudeness. I have noted a few people who do seem snippy more often than
not, and a few who appear to have an axe to grind, or a personal problem
with one or two other individuals on the list. But, my impression is that
this is a small minority, while the vast majority of posts here are civil
and thoughtful, even if not always directly helpful in an immediate sense.
The minority who seem to have other motives are here for their own reasons
too, I assume; perhaps they use the list as a 'safe' outlet for their
frustrations, or they simply enjoy verbal sparing with smart, articulate
people and find it amusing or entertaining. And, so what if they do? IMO
it does not detract from the overall quality of the list.
Eric, you said that you believe adults should be able to police their own
behavior on the list. But I think that assumes too much, in that it would
require everyone to have more or less the same idea about what the list is
for, and what they want/need/expect out of both reading the list and
posting here. And, as I think is obvious, that is not the case and won't
ever be the case with this large and diverse a group.
So, why not instead take the position that adults can and should be able
to deal with their own reactions to and feelings about whatever is posted
here, and should be able to resolve their own conflicts, if they have any,
with other list members. Make it a rule that if anyone has an issue with
anything someone else said, they need to take it up off-line, directly
with the offending party. If that person won't talk to them, them just
tell them to get over it, or leave the list if they are unhappy. In other
words, let the list members take care of themselves. Do not make their
problems your problems. If someone continues to complain to you, or
expects you to get involved or solve their problems, then my suggestion
would be to boot *them* off the list. That way you will save yourself
countless headaches and hours of time.
As for the shortage of topics that interest you, why not bring them up
yourself, ask what people think about them, what experiences they have had
in those areas, etc. In other words, start a new, more interesting thread,
and ignore the ones that are off topic, chatty, etc.
I find that using the no-mail setting and reading the posts at the web
site instead allows me to easily skim for the good stuff and skip the bad
(in my subjective view). Some people I always read, others I've learned to
ignore most of the time. This works for me, and it would seem that
something along these same lines (using e-mail filters, the delete key,
whatever) must be working well enough for a lot of other people too, since
this is still a very large, very active list.
When I joined here I was considering some sort of additional education to
expand my career options, but I was not sure what direction to go. Andrew
Plato in particular, and the debates (and even the mud-slinging) that
often surround his comments, have made a real difference in my decisions,
and has changed my mind or helped me clarify my thinking about a number of
important issues. I am grateful to everyone who participats in these
debates (even the snippy ones <g>) and I am also grateful to you, Eric, for
all of your efforts and for the existence of this list. Whatever you
decide, I sincerely hope you will be find a solution that you can be at
peace with.
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